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The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide To Finding Intimacy, Passion and Peace, by Laura Doyle
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A New York Times bestseller, this controversial guide to improving your marriage has transformed thousands of relationships, bringing women romance, harmony, and the intimacy they crave.
Like millions of women, Laura Doyle wanted her marriage to be better. But when she tried to get her husband to be more romantic, helpful, and ambitious, he withdrew—and she was lonely and exhausted from controlling everything. Desperate to be in love with her man again, she decided to stop telling him what to do and how to do it. When Doyle surrendered control, something magical happened. The union she had always dreamed of appeared. The man who had wooed her was back.
The underlying principle of The Surrendered Wife is simple: The control women wield at work and with children must be left at the front door of any marriage. Laura Doyle’s model for matrimony shows women how they can both express their needs and have them met while also respecting their husband’s choices. When they do, they revitalize intimacy.
Compassionate and practical, The Surrendered Wife is a step-by-step guide that teaches women how to:
� Give up unnecessary control and responsibility
� Resist the temptation to criticize, belittle, or dismiss their husbands
� Trust their husbands in every aspect of marriage—from sexual to financial
� And more.
The Surrendered Wife will show you how to transform a lonely marriage into a passionate union.
- Sales Rank: #19925 in Books
- Color: Pink
- Published on: 2001-01-08
- Released on: 2001-01-08
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.44" h x .80" w x 5.50" l, .60 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 288 pages
- Relationships
- Self-Help
- Women
- The Surrendered Wife
- Laura Doyle
Amazon.com Review
Self-proclaimed "feminist and former shrew" Laura Doyle sets forth a whopper of a game plan for establishing profound intimacy in one's marriage. Building on the gender stereotypes defined by bestselling author John Gray (Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus), Doyle seeks to heal the overworked, underappreciated wife who snarls at her mate's every thought or action. Her message to these smart, self-sufficient types: check the nitpicking, the unsolicited opinions, and--egads!--the finances at the marital door (although she says it's still okay to wield control at work). Many women will find such advice archaic and offensive; some will simply laugh off this credential-free anachronism when they receive the book as a bridal-shower gag gift. Still others, identifying with Doyle's profile of a controlling wife, will be curious enough to dabble in her proposed art of "surrendering."
According to Doyle, the wife who chooses to surrender must learn to take care of herself first, overcome the desire to have more power, and abandon the myth of equality. Delving into the personal tales and sisterly advice shared within each chapter's pages, surrendering wives will further note the need to master unsavory phrases like "I can't," and "Whatever you think"--tough to swallow for a generation of women who value their own opinions. While she fully acknowledges that a few bills will go unpaid and a few deadlines or freeway exits will occasionally be missed, she also insists that surrendered wives will encounter less worry and fear, more money, and better sex. Hey, "Whatever you think...." --Liane Thomas
From Publishers Weekly
A natural for audio, Doyle is perky, enthusiastic, friendly and confiding as she shares her secrets for a happy marriage. Her main point is that when she criticized, nagged and tried to control her husband, the marriage suffered; but when she "surrendered," letting him do things his way and make decisions for the family, he rose to the occasion, becoming a responsible and loving husband and making her feel protected and cared for. Doyle's "one size fits all" approach is not likely to fit everyone; indeed, it's hard to imagine any wife (or husband, for that matter) feeling emotionally satisfied in a marriage where every one of the husband's suggestions is met with a demure "Whatever you think best, dear." Doyle's insistence that the husband should control all aspects of the family's finances is also likely to raise a few eyebrows. But such extremism aside, Doyle makes some worthwhile points. Nagging and criticizing are not conducive to marital harmony, and treating a man like an incompetent child turns the wife into his mother which isn't likely to make either party happy. Doyle also points out that wives need to take time to care for themselves (going to lunch with friends, getting facials or whatever activities they enjoy), instead of constantly martyring themselves to the needs of others. Based on the Fireside paperback.
Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.
Review
John Gray author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus The Surrendered Wife is a practical and valuable tool for women wanting to regain intimacy in their relationships.
Most helpful customer reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
I continue to read this over and over! Every woman should read this book!
By Elaine C. Carlson
This is a book every woman should read if they have a personality where they like to be in charge. This is a powerful and practical book that is life changing. I have personally given out probably 20 copies of this book to friends and I have read the book myself over and over, at least seven times. Every time I read it it helps me again. I have been married for 44 years and have been reading this book for the past ten. My husband is happier and I have been able to be set free of some of my controlling tendencies. You will be shocked when reading it as you will get a clear view of what you are really doing in your marriage and that can be painful but by seeing the truth about your behaviors you can begin making changes that can help the intimacy in your marriage. Don't miss this book!
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
This book has thoroughly helped my relationship. Before I ...
By Nefertara
This book has thoroughly helped my relationship. Before I even finished the book, my SO was noticing differences and telling me that I was being nicer. He also changed into the man I knew he could be. Even more importantly, it (along with prayer) has helped me become more aware of my words and actions, which for him means I respect and trust him. .
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
A hard read for the modern woman who has come ...
By songbird17
A hard read for the modern woman who has come of age in a time when women have had to assume multiple roles of head-of-household, have had to be the bread-winner, house-keeper, accountant, mechanic, mother, triage nurse, handy-man ... and more. The valuable message in this book is that it shows the importance of creating balance between the roles of men and women in relationship.
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