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Change Your Mindset, Not Your Man: Learn to Love What's Right Instead of Trying to Fix What's Wrong, by Sally B Watkins
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What you will discover by reading this book is that the real relationship you are seeking is with yourself. It provides the tools to build an empowered self and a full happy life even with a flawed partner and an imperfect relationship. Many a woman has tossed aside good men trying to find the fantasy prince and happily ever after, only to end up disapppointed. Men are not hard wired or socialized for the impossible relationship that romantic novels and movies promise. All the nagging, complaining, and crying just make it worse. Even couples counseling can backfire it you enlist the help of a therapist to fix him. This groundbreaking guide offers specific strategies to find acceptance and contentment with your guy as he is.
- Uncover your childhood wounding and understand how you might be trying to get your regressed needs met in a romantic relationship.
- Learn how to challenge your thinking so that your aren't distorting your view of yourself, your man, and your life.
- By avoiding the inevitable pain and disappointment in relationships and life you may be creating more suffering.
- You may have to get out of the way with your heavy expectations and beliefs to really get your man.
- Find out why empathy may be the best gift of yourself you can give him.
- Rev up your life and reduce the demands on your relationship to be your everything.
With quizzes, exercises, and case studies drawn from her own private practice, psychotherapist Sally B. Watkins helps you develop autonomy and inner resources and grow a mature adult self. You can help your man be more relational, get more of what you want, and become happier.
- Sales Rank: #343463 in Books
- Published on: 2009-11-18
- Released on: 2009-11-18
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .70" w x 5.50" l, .60 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 240 pages
Review
This book shows in clear and practical ways how to let go of demands, drama, and expectations in relationships. --David Richo, Ph.D., author of Everyday Commitments: Choosing A Life Of Love, Realism, and Acceptance
A book that looks at marriage realistically! I recommend it for all married women who are struggling to accept their less than perfect spouses. --Evelyn Bassoff, Ph.D., author of Between Mothers and Sons:The Making of Vital and Loving Men
Many books offer only simplistic how-to formulas. This book goes far beyond that, setting the reader off on a life journey of self-discovery and self development. --Molly Young Brown, author of Growing Whole: Self-Realization for the Great Turning
I recommend this book to any woman who feels stuck and /or dissatisfied in her relationship. --Beverly Engel, LMFT, author of Loving Him without Losing You: How to Stop Disappearing and Start Being Yourself
This book breaks new ground for deepening our love and respect for ourselves and others. It strikes a chord of truth as down-to-earth as it is refreshing. --Hal Zina Bennett, author of The Lens of Perception: A User's Guide to Higher Consciousness
From the Author
I hope that you are able to look again at your good-enough man and realize that it isn't necessary or even desirable that he be a prince or that you find a happily ever after. There is so much value in accepting both him and yourself the way you are and growing in strength and wisdom as you confront the reality of your life together. As a woman, just as you've been conditioned to accept an unattainable model of beauty, so have you been sold an unattainable relationship model. A relationship is just one part of your life and you need to see a bigger picture in order to satisfy yourself and reduce the expectations that a man will be your ultimate fulfillment.
By moving away from suffocating and confining cultual definitions that have trapped you in relationship conflict, you can find your truth, authentic self, and natural power base. By accepting both your own and others' imperfections and knowing that your worth is not affected by what others say and do, you can stay open, loving, and compassionate. As an empowered woman you can stand in your truth and ask for what you want without demanding to receive it. You can reduce the need to contort and deny yourself in order to be loved. There is enormous benefit for a woman who can conceptualize her task as evolving herself rather than fixing her man.
I have thoroughly enjoyed writing this book and sharing my own life lessons and those of my clients with you. This book is filled with what I wish someone would have told me when I was a younger woman. It is imminently satisfying and blesses my life to offer it to you.
About the Author
Sally B. Watkins, MSW, is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in California since 1989 treating individuals and couples. She graduated from the University of Maryland at Baltimore with a master's of social work degree and is credentialed in the nationally recognized Academy of Certified Social Workers. Ms. Watkins' early career focused on teaching, grant writing, and various counseling and administrative positions in the social services sector while continuing to take writing classes and produce short stories, essays and creative non-fiction. Her published work includes magazine articles and a series of columns for the local newspaper. Her websites are sallywatkins.net, and healingwords.net.
Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Life changing
By lindsay s.
Great book, ladies its easier to blame him but if we want real change it takes introspection. This book helped me to look inside of myself at what I was doing and why, the message of accetance has improved my relationships (not just with my fiance) and my happiness!! Buy this book if you are serious about improving your life, and not just controlling his. I highly recommend this book.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Love It~ Need It!
By Augustmoon
I have never written a review before but I really like this book - and need it - I am just starting but know I will need to read it many times for everything to sink in so I can change! It uses many strategies that she talks about but Sally has put it all together! I can't say enough about this book and I have read MANY relationship books! Thanks Sally!
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Great Read!
By Jennifer Tavarez
Great read! And great advice as well. I related very well to the subjects she brought up, I almost thought she was talking about me half of the time. And the techniques and solutions she suggests are easy to use and realistic as well.
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